Matt Hancocks

Counselling and Psychotherapy in the Lakes and Dales

Even absence has a presence!

It never ceases to amaze me the amount of psychological space ‘absence’ can take-up in our thoughts and feelings. This can be the loss of a friend, the end of a relationship, the absence of something we longed for but never received. It can be recent, or it can be deep in the past.

For myself the loss of an old friend last year, due to very tragic circumstances, and his battle with a life changing accident a few years before, turned my world up side down. His death stayed with me for many weeks, affecting my mood, outlook on life and perspective. My head was busy with the conversations I’d had, wished I’d had, and all the memories and experiences we had shared.

For many who sit in a room with me, this type of experience is not unique. We all can be preoccupied with that which we have lost, never received but longed for, never found but missed, or just plain missed.

Absence has a psychological presence and giving ourselves the time and space to reflect on what this is for us is important, but more importantly, what we want to do with this experience and learning moving forward, and how we change what we do is also important.

To my friend Richard, may you rest in peace.

© Matt Hancocks

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